Kill to Love
by bmb007
Summary: Nicole is new to the MI6, and she has to join James Bond on a mission. Nicole tries to stay away from James because he is a womanizer, but she can't help but like him. James likes her but can't show love because of what happened in the past. RATED M
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- This is about Nicole's relationship with James. There will be definitely be action though so yeah. First James Bond fic. SO YEAH HOPE YOU LIKE IT **

**Disclaimer: I do not own James Bond.**

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I walked through the crowded streets of London, I was from America and it was so different. But I was born in England, so I have a dual citizenship. I wasn't used to the steering wheels on the other side, or the different slang. The streets were crowded and my heels clicked on the sidewalk. I was on my way to my new job. It wasn't any old special job; I was recruited, if you want to put it that way, to join the MI6. I always wanted to get into Intelligence, more for the CIA but they didn't need me, they contacted the MI6, knowing I had dual citizenship, and told them that they had a great girl for them. Only if they needed someone else. They did. The good thing was I was pretty well trained because the CIA was going to take me in, but they couldn't. So here I am now on my why to the first day on the job.

I was nervous out of my mind. I spent two hours getting ready for this. I wore boot cut gray tweed pants, with a white short-sleeved blouse tucked in. My signature David Yurman cable bracelet with smoky quartz, and a David Yurman ring. I tied up my long dark brown hair into a loose bun, and did my makeup lightly. It was the perrrfect look. In my opinion. I finally arrived. My _new_ work place, MI6 headquarters. I walked in with my ID and papers that allowed me to pass.

"Here is a key card to get you onto the ninth floor." The receptionist gave me a phony smile, and handed me the card.

"Okay. Here we go." I whispered to myself and stepped into the elevator. Placing the key card into the slot I waited for my floor. I kept twisting my ring, out of nervous habit. Finally the elevator door opened to the ninth floor I stepped out looking down so my heals of the shoes didn't get caught in the crack between the elevator and the floor and ran into somebody.

"I'm so sorry!" I looked up and saw the man I bumped into. _Dayummm_

"No, no it's quite all right." The mystery man said in a rugged, sexy British accent. His blue eyes gazing right into mine.

I automatically looked away. _Awkkkkkkk_. Saying awkk was so unprofessional, but still. I couldn't think of anything to say.

"You're the new girl right?" He asked picking up my awkwardness.

"Uhh.. Mmhmm. I mean yes I am." _Ughh I never stutter!_ I mentally scolded myself.

"Bond. James Bond." He reached out his hand and I weakly took it.

_Say your god damn name! _ I finally forced out my name, "Nicole Hoch." I grinned.

"Pleasure to meet you Ms. Hoch." He grinned, which made me melt.

"Pleasure meeting you too." I smiled back. That was the first coherent thing I have said to him.

"I hope to see you around." With that he left, and I watched dreamily as he walked into the elevator, before he turned around to press the button I turned around to be greeted my a short stern looking Woman.

"You must be Nicole Hoch." Her voice was cold.

"Yes I am." I smiled; she just glared which made my smile falter just a bit.

"I'm M. I'm the head of the MI6. You will start your training right away." She motioned me to follow her. We went into a room where I was to be trained and tested.

"I understand that you have had a fair share of training, but it is still necessary to do some training here." She said curtly and left me with the instructor.

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"I'm Daniel Moore, and I will be training you." He was nicer than M already and the man only said one damn sentence to me!

"Hello, I'm Nicole Hoch." I smiled and stretched out my hand. He grasped it tightly and he began telling me everything that I would be experiencing in training.

"As M told me you are very well trained already, but MI6 does some things different from the CIA." He continued to explain what was different.

I took some tests, and did some physical stuff since I would be working out in the field. I was ready for virtually everything, but I still had to go through more of this tedious training. But, hey, I have my dream job.

I left around five o'clock going to the apartment that the MI6 gave to me. It was pretty damn nice too. I walked into my room slipping off my shoes and placing them in my closet. While walking over to my jewelry box I slipped of my ring and bracelet. I placed them into the leather box along with some other jewelry and headed to the bathroom

The bathroom tile was cold on my feet and I couldn't wait to step into the warm water. I stripped my clothes and turned on the shower, making the mistake of not waiting long enough for the water to heat.

"Ahhhhh cold, cold, cold." I shivered, and waited freezing for the shower to warm up. After lifting my hand to test the temperature of the water I stepped in. Feeling the relief and relaxing of the steaming water snake down my body. It felt good to have a good shower after a long and boring day. Once I warmed up again and was comfortable in the shower I started belting out songs. No in particular just random notes that fit together.

After singing until my throat hurt, I turned of the water and stepped outside. I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around my shivering body. Once I dried off I tied my hair back, and put on some warm pajamas. Jumped in bed and fell into a deep sleep.

Throughout the night those blue eyes were in my dreams. Just gazing.

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My alarm clock went off which I slammed to shut off. Even though I was dead tired I jumped out of bed to start getting ready. If I stayed in for a couple of more minutes after the alarm I would be already back to sleep. The room was completely dark since the curtains let no light in. I liked that. I absolutely loved gray skies, I also liked blue skies, but I love the sense of coziness gray skies give.

Since I showered the night before I freshened up, putting on my makeup, and styling my hairs into big barrel curls. After doing my makeup and hair I went to put on a long sleeve blouse, and a dark gray pencil skirt with sheer black tights. I was ready for my second, and more official day of work. I grabbed my trench coat since it was raining, and my black umbrella and called for a cab.

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I ran in from the pouring rain closing the umbrella before stepping inside. I flashed them my ID and headed for the elevator.

"Wait! Hold the elevator!" A man's voice called out. He through his arm through the door to stop it from closing.

"This elevator can be so damn slow, and I don't feel like waiting." The British voice explained. "Nicole right?"

_The sexy rugged British guy!_ "Yeah, and you are… James right?" I stared into the deep blue eyes.

"James Bond." He stared right back at me. Which again made me melt. Then he pointed to the buttons, "Level nine?"

"Yup."

He turned towards me, "So are you a new field agent?"

"Yes I am." His eyes lit up when I said that.

"I'm a field agent myself, how did they find you?" He started to question me while the elevator slowly went up.

"The CIA suggested me… I have dual citizenship, British, and American."

"That's nice. So—" He cut off abruptly, while the door opened. "Well this is our floor." He motioned his hands for me to go first. "Ladies first."

"Thank you." I smiled and walked in front of him; going to the room I was yesterday for more mind-numbing training.

"Today we will be doing more physical procedures." Explained Daniel. "But first you have to change.

I changed it black leggingesque pants. They were sly, but easy to move in. A black long sleeve shirt and some unconventional black heal less boots. I had to learn to be uncomfortable in situations.

"Ready?" Daniel asked me holding a Beretta 418.

"Ready." As I answered he tossed me the Beretta. I followed him into a simulation room.

"Your objective is to kill the enemies." I put on the simulating glasses and went to work. (**IN Die Another Day… Watch it)**.

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The hallway was quiet, I kept my senses alert and walked around with my two hands on the gun hanging on the right side of my body. I started to lift by gun up so it was by my face, when I turned the corner. Just as I expected a man was there I aimed and shot. The shot rang out and it was a clear kill shot.

The virtual people were killed left and right, it got harder as I progressed but each time I was ready for whatever went down. The simulation finally came to an end, and I was exhausted.

"You are doing extraordinarily well. So M and I have talked and you will be a regular agent now. You might be possibly going on a mission sometime soon so be prepared." Daniel smiled proudly at me.

Which, I returned gratefully. "That's great! What should I do now am I finished or something?"

"Yes you can go home for the day, but be here sharp and early." With that Daniel walked away.

I went to go change back into my normal clothes, leaving the other clothes in my locker. I walked out, and weaved through the hallways filled with offices, and other rooms, with major technology and stuff. Just spyish stuff. Yeah I no, I act kinda like a kid about this stuff.

I pressed the elevator button and waited and waited. James was right it took forever. James… The mysterious rugged British guy.

"Told you this takes forever." That voice whispered in my ear. _James'_voice. "I've seen you tapping your foot impatiently for about five minutes."

"You're right." I smiled at him, "but I have one question?"

"And that is." He stepped closer to me.

"Why were you watching me?" I questioned challenging him with my eyes.

"Isn't that my job? Spying on people." His eyes challenged mine right back.

"Nice excuse." The elevator door opened and we both stepped in.

The rest of the way was silent, but it was a nice silence. Not an awkward silence.

The elevator reached the main level and we parted our ways, I opened the door and it was still raining. Raining was an understatement. Pouring is more like it. I took out my umbrella and opened it up stepping out into the cool rain. Getting a taxi was hard because it was rush hour and everyone was trying to get one. To top it all off it was raining.

It was later than usual when I got home, and I was freezing. I took a warm shower and headed for bed. It was late and I had to get up early the next morning.

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At Six o'clock my alarm clock went off and I went through my morning routine. I through on some wide legged black pants, and a dark green silk blouse. And to complete the look I put on my signature bracelet and ring.

I walked onto the ninth floor around seven thirty, where a woman stood waiting for me. She had short, blond hair, and was about my age.

"Ms. Hoch?" The girl asked…_. _

"Yes?"

"May you please follow me? M is waiting for you in her office." She said kindly.

As we were walking she turned to me, "If I were you I would stay away from James. He is kind of, I don't know. A man whore?" She laughed a little.

"Wait what?" _Of course, I always seem to fall for the assholes, and man whores. WHYYYY!_

"Yeah he sleeps around a lot. I see he was trying to play you. He had me two years ago. But I'm happily married now, and way over it." She lifted her hand to show the huge rock on her ring finger. "I don't know if he actually likes you, it's a possibility, you're different from us Brits. You're _American_. But I am just telling you to watch out."

I liked this girl, I was happy that she warned me, but a little disappointed to find out that this sexy man was of course a man whore. "Thanks for telling me this. I really appreciate it." Which I really did, I was thankful for her for warning me, so I wouldn't make a fool out of myself. "Oh, I didn't catch you name before."

"Money Penny. I'm so used to my that name now that I don't respond to my real name." She smiled warmly at her.

"Nice to meet you Money Penny I'm Nicole by the way." I returned her smile; we were still walking through the labyrinth of halls.

"I no _your_ name! It's my job." We stopped so she could open up a larger door than the others.

"What do you do here?" I stepped inside where a modern glass desk was, with a high tech computer; the room had all glass walls, and an opaque glass wall that separated this room from another.

"I'm M's personal secretary." She pointed to the opaque glass door, "M is waiting for you."

I walked over to it and knocked.

"Come in." Most likely M who called that out.

I stepped in, "Take a seat." In her usual curt tone.

"I have heard you have been doing a exceptional job in training so we sending you off to your first mission. But since you are rather new to this we are sending another agent with you. You will be joining agent 007 (double oh seven) with this mission."

"Okay." I sat there my hand folded in my lap, and my legs crossed. Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Come in 007." She called out.

"Hello M. What have we got today?" 007 AKA James came striding in. After what Money Penny had told me about him being a womanizer, man whore etcetera, I didn't really like him as much as I did. I mean I liked him that way, but I hated him also. Never a good mix.

"Oh hello Nicole." James smiled at me, which made me melt. _NO do not melt, remember you got mixed up with another man whore that didn't turn out well… Ughh Nate. Horrible decision to even go out with him._

"Hello James." I didn't smile, but I said it in a semi friendly tone. James sat down next to me while M started to explain the mission.

"There has been some activity in eastern Siberia. Most likely terrorist activity. I want you two to check it out, and report back to me as soon as you find some information on this." She paused and looked at us. "You two will be leaving at six am sharp tomorrow. Be here at five thirty. You're dismissed." She went back to what she was working on prior to our debriefing.

James and I walked out silently, I smiled at Money Penny and she gave me a warm smile back. One to James too, it was the professional thing to do. We made our way through the through the halls to get to the lobby where the elevator was.

"See you here bright and early." James grinned. That sexy man whore grin…

"Do we need to pack anything?" I asked while the elevator door opened.

"Nothing at all. Everything will be here ready for you." We both walked in and I pressed the lobby level button. "They will even give you a new phone. The perks about being an agent is that you gain all of this stuff. But you always have in mind that you could be killed at a moments notice."

"Oh that's good." I answered to the first part, "and I know I have to be alert at all times, if I didn't know that I would still be in training right?" We stepped out of the elevator and walked to the lobby door.

"Right. Well, see you tomorrow at five thirty." He offered a weak smile, which I returned and we went our separate ways. No matter how much I hated man whores/ womanizers, I could not help but like him. This was not going to be good.

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**A/N- So sorry if some of these spy terms aren't correct, but yeah R&R please it will make my day.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n- So this chapter is a little shorter but I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer- I do not own James Bond.**

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Four Thirty. _UGHHH_. I am _not _a morning person. I rolled out of bed. Literally. And hit the floor.

"ooompfff." I was too asleep to catch myself. I only got an hour of sleep. I usually get about four to five. I've never been a good sleeper… I slowly got up and headed to my bathroom. I turned on the lights and a gold glow washed over the room. It was such a rich, and warm room. I hopped into the shower and stood there for a while allowing myself to slowly wake up. After scrubbing my hair, and washing up I wrapped a big fuzzy towel around me and began working on my appearance.

After I was done with hair and makeup I went into my closet and through on some black pants, along with a dark gray blouse, and grabbed my dark gray trench coat from Burberry. I choose some black heal-less boots, and my purse and headed out to MI6 headquarters.

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It was five twenty when I got there. Good thing to be early. Money Penny greeted me with as much of a smile she could make, no one could really smile at five twenty in the morning…

"Let me show yo—" She was interrupted by her loud and long yawn. Which made me yawn too. "Let me show you were you stuff is. Your passport and clothes, and on and on." I followed her into her office is front of M.

On our way I wondered if James was a late person, "James here yet?" Most likely not.

"Yup, he was here bright and early around ten minutes ago. He's in my office right now.

I followed her around the corner and into her office; "oh…" was all I could say.

"Good morning Nicole" he greeted me and then turned to Money Penny, "Good morning again Money Penny." He already had his bag on his shoulder, I grabbed mine and some files given to us from Money Penny.

"James knows what to do next so just follow him." She smiled and started her day's work. I felt bad for her having to get up this early. James and I walked out of the room and turned down a hall I haven't sent yet.

"Where are we going?" I thought we were supposed to go the other way to meet the car that would take us to the airport…

"We have to make a quick visit to Q." He punched in a code at a door and opened it, I followed him down the staircase.

"Q?" _Who the hell is Q?_

"We will being getting gadgets from him, if you want to call them gadgets…" We finally reached the bottom of the stairs and he opened up the other door.

"Oh…" We entered the room, which was cluttered with all different things and people testing out new contraptions. There were loud noises and everything.

"Follow me directly. If you value your life." He chuckled. A _sexy_ chuckle.

Just after James finished his sentence an oldish British man called out. "DOUBLE OH SEVEN." He ran over, he was a rather giddy man. I liked him.

"Q" James nodded politely.

"And who is this young doll. Oh wait you must be double oh nine." He brought out his hand, and I took shaking it strong.

"Yup, double oh nine…" _So that's my agent name…cool._

"Okay so here are some things you will be needing."

"Your watch, new model of course." He lifted the watch up to James. "Click here to activate the other watch's tracker." Then he turned to me, "it's connected to your watch. If you turn the knob a grapple that is strong enough to hold about five hundred pounds comes out. And as usual it tells the time." He gave the watch to James, which he put on automatically.

"Here is yours, the same features of double oh seven's watch, but a woman's version." He placed the watch in my hands, and I copied what James did. Put it right on my wrist.

"Your car will be waiting for you when you arrive to your destination. Please read the manual double oh seven." Q rolled his eyes.

"You know I always do. " James' smirked.

Before we left Q called out, "WAIT! I forgot, these sunglasses will come in handy. They act as normal sunglasses, but show up a GPS in the corner of it, not obstructing your vision, and turn into night goggles when you press the logo down." Q handed us both fashionable sunglasses to us; they were really nice.

James and I traveled back to the stairs, I was making sure to follow him exactly so I wouldn't get hurt. Finally we reached the stairs and made our way back up. We walked through the modern hallways, which was starting to be filled with people, and made our way to the elevator. That took forever. It was five fifty five when we got into the car, and headed to the airport.

I expected to be going to Heathrow, but we went to a so-called abandoned runway. Not so abandoned though since it was a secret runway used by the MI6, James told me. As much as I hated him, I liked him. He meant well but I could tell he was damaged someway and had a big, thick, impenetrable wall built around him. That's why he used women at his dispose. He would use them and then just throw them out before feelings took over. It would be nice to break it down but it probably wasn't going to happen.

We arrived at the runway after making twist and turns through rural areas. A private jet was waiting for us. We made our way out of the black car with small suitcases, and carry ons in hand. It was lightly raining, and everything was layered in sheen of glistening water. It was cold out too so it was quite slippery. The suitcases were loaded for us while we walked up the slippery stairs into the jet.

At least it was warm in the jet. When I walked in; the heat wrapped around my body instantly making me one hundred times more comfortable. James and I barley talked on our way here, only little side comments about the landscape surrounding us. I had a feeling the plane ride was going to be a little tense.

Once we settled down, the tension broke, but only just a little.

"Are you nervous for your first mission?" James got comfortable in the big comfy chair.

"No not really, kind of excited. It is my first _official _mission. What were _you_ like on you first mission as a double o?" I got comfy too, remembering how I was promoted to a double o. I was an independent agent, and killed to major threats to the CIA, and also the MI6. So when I got to MI6 I was already a double o too. Too confusing to get into though.

"I was running on adrenaline." I could of sworn he said '_and love'_ under his breath but I'm not sure. "I've learned though that you can't let emotion blind you. Just be calm, cool, and collective." He chuckled and then continued. "I know that's a little cliché to say, but it's true. You have to be the three C's." He laughed again, but his eyes were pained he looked so sad underneath his façade.

"Learn that the hard way?" Once I finished that question I knew it was bad to even ask it. His face dropped the façade all together.

"Yeah. You could say that." He said curtly.

I was in a bad mood now. Usually when other people are in bad moods I get in one too. It gets annoying too. "Well okay." I returned with a short curt answer too. I lifted my knees up to my chest and swiveled by body to look out the window. The tops of the clouds were indefinable and gray since it was raining below us. I was in a trance just staring at the gray when I felt a hand on my arm.

"Hey." I turned towards James. His eyes were apologetic. He understood that I was new and young. Twenty-five is a young age to be in the MI6. "I didn't mean to be so harsh. It's a sore subject to talk about."

I looked deeply into his blueish gray eyes. Along with them being apologetic they were also pained. "I'm sorry too, I should of just dropped it before I said _that_…" I ran my hand through my hair, once then twice.

"Don't apologize. You didn't know." He gave me a weak smile. One that I mirrored back for him. "Are you thirsty or anything?" He tried to change the subject, so it wouldn't be awkward. I was unaware that his hand was still on my arm until he moved it away. The warmth was gone.

"No thanks. Maybe later." I paused and tried to get comfy. Which was a struggle in that restricting pants I was wearing.

James noticed my struggle. "Look in your carry on and there should be sweat pants or something." He got up and grabbed my bag.

"You didn't need to do that. I'm capable of doing that." He handed over the bag to me. I grabbed it accidentally touching his hand. They were rough, but soft at the same time. This man was killing me. "Thanks." I smiled and made my way to the bathroom to change.

I set the bag on the counter and opened it up. Inside were my old field hockey sweatpants, my favorite t-shirt, and favorite sweatshirt."

"How the hell did they get this stuff…" _Well it is the MI6…_ I let it slide and put on the stuff. Feeling comfy automatically. I folded up my other clothes and placed them into the carry on. I unlocked the bathroom door and made my way back to my seat.

James was already in a pair of Adidas sweatpants and an Oxford t-shirt. When I sat down he looked over at me, lifting up his eyebrows.

"You play field hockey?"

"Play_ed_ is the correct answer. Fourth grade until senior year of high school. I needed to concentrate in college." I reclined the chair a little and brought my knees to my chest again burrowing my head into the headrest to get more comfy.

James also got more comfy. "That's nice. Anyway I suggest you get some sleep because its going to be a long flight, and we woke up very early this morning." He started to close his eyes.

Mine were already closed and I was on my way to sleep so I just answered with a 'mmm hmm.' And I could Have sworn he said 'sweet dreams' but I think I'm just hearing things…

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**A/N- So the one was shorter than the last one, which I apologize for. The next chapter will be in James' POV. The POV will change throughout the story between Nicole and James. Please R&R :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n- Ok sorry this is a little short and it is in James POV.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own James Bond.**

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*JAMES POV

After our quick visit to Q we made our way out to the car waiting to take us to the runway. Nicole was right on my tail; I figured it was because she didn't want to get hurt. We climbed the stairs and made our way through the main floor. There were a lot of people already starting to work, lethargic maybe but they were still here. It was early for people to start showing up, but you never know with M.

We made our way into the car, where an unknown driver drove us to the runway. I've been to that runway countless of times, but not with another person. I never thought M would trust me enough to have another agent in my arms to protect. Nicole was opposite of vesper. Tan and tall, dark brown eyes that were endless, and a not so stern attitude towards life. She was very laid back, but serious at the same time. I could see when she could be in total serious, but at the moment she was in a laidback mood.

I stared out at the countryside, just thinking. Only making side comments once in awhile. It was always peaceful to watch the farms go by. It started lightly raining about half way into the trip. When we arrived everything was slippery, and cold. I loved the cold. I embraced it. I guess after having a wall built up between the world and myself, I couldn't be comfortable in the warmth.

We settled down, and fastened our seatbelts for take off. After we were up in the air I decided to break the tension. "Are you nervous for your first mission?" I leaned back in the chair, getting comfy.

I watched her get comfy as she told me her answer, "No not really, kind of excited. It is my first _official _mission. What were you like on you first mission as a double o?" My _first _mission. The mission in which I fell in love, with a trader. She loved me back, but she was betraying me and the MI6… mostly me…. For the person she loved, so he wouldn't die. Towards the end though, she loved me, and when she died I died. Not literally but mentally. I died and in the end she never was able to save her love from dying. "I was running on adrenaline…" then I whispered to myself 'and love." But it was barley auditable.

I continued, "I've learned though that you can't let emotion blind you. Just be calm, cool, and collective." I chuckled to myself and continued. "I know that's a little cliché to say, but it's true. You have to be the three C's." I laughed again trying to hide my pain. I loathed being reminded of that mission.

"Learn that the hard way?" Nicole looked uncomfortable after she said that, and I was angry that she asked that. I shouldn't be angry with her, she never did anything, she wasn't there, but I couldn't help but being angry. I answered with a terse reply, "You could say that." It was harsh and cold my answer. I realized that it was mistake once I said.

Nicole turned away from me to stare out the window. She looked upset, and I'm not the biggest comforter. After about a minute I awkwardly touched her arm, her arms were warm, and I liked that warmth. It was a nice warmth.

"Hey." She looked back at me, and I looked deep into her eyes. . "I didn't mean to be so harsh. It's a sore subject to talk about."

She ran her hand through her hair a couple of times, and she was still curled up on the chair. "I'm sorry too, I should have just dropped it before I said _that_…" She ran her hand through her hair again.

"Don't apologize. You didn't know." I wasn't aware my hand was still on her arm. I moved it away leaning back in my chair. My hand was cold again instantly. The atmospherwas tense again so I decided to change the subject but it was kind of an obvious attempt. "Are you thirst or anything? I could get you something to drink…"

"No thanks. Maybe later." She tried to get comfortable but couldn't. It was kind of amusing watching her do this, but not at the same time. I decided to drop her a hint,

"Look in your carry on and their should be sweat pants or something." I got up and reached for her bag.

She got up a second after me grabbing the bag. "You didn't need to do that. I'm capable of doing that." Our hands touched, and I felt the warmth again. It was nice. _Really _nice. "Thanks." With that she left to go change.

Shedding my Armani suit, I quickly changed into some sweats to, and it was too bloody hot, I took of my sweatshirt and discarded it into the empty seat behind me. I waited a little bit for Nicole to come back out. When she did she looked a lot more at ease. When she sat down I noticed she played field hockey. She didn't look like one, but everyone is cryptic.

"You play field hockey?' I turned to face her better.

She looked down at her pants, then back at me. "Play_ed_ is the correct answer. Fourth grade until senior year of high school. I needed to concentrate in college."

I started to get comfy, "That's nice. Anyway I suggest you get some sleep because it's going to be a long flight, and we woke up very early this morning." I wasn't tired at all, I barley get anymore sleep. Ever since… But she looked tired.

She answered with a 'mm hmmm' I quietly said sweet dreams. I wasn't usually a sentimental person, but Nicole was different.

After I knew she was asleep I went and ordered myself a vodka martini. Of course shaken and not stirred. I could handle many drinks, and still be sober. I sat down and took a sip of the ice cold liquid. The first sip burned my throat, but I welcomed it. But after the first sip it was cold numbness going down my throat. Everything was always cold numbness.

I admit that Nicole has lifted my spirits, but when I am out of her presence its back to the cold numbness. I took another sip, and looked over to Nicole. She was asleep, but not in a deep sleep, she was moving too much. She temporarily took away the cold numbness and I was grateful for that.

With Vesper damaging me like this, it has screwed up with my work. I have learned to control my feelings, but the first couple missions after Vespers death I went on a killing rampage. But I've gotten better at controlling my feelings. M got furious when I kept killing people, no one innocent, and I almost lost my job. I basically lost my job for a little while. I wouldn't know how to even go about with an honest job. Being an agent for the MI6 is the perfect occupation for me. It's un-honest all the time. Double agents, terrorists, madmen, and backstabbers…

Nicole getting up pulled me out of my reverie. _How long had it been since she fell asleep?_

"Hey… I thought you went to sleep?" She got up and arched her back and rolled her neck around.

"I couldn't sleep, so I just had a drink." I placed down the vodka martini that was in my hand and stood up too.

"Yeah I couldn't really sleep either… Its hot in here!" Nicole reached at the them hem of her sweatshirt and pulled it over her head, revealing her toned stomach to peak out, if it was just another women I would probably just jump her to get a good release.

"Yeah I know." I didn't know what else to talk about. I'm usually good at the stuff, but not right now.

"Hey, so when are we supposed to land?" She asked, we were both still standing.

I glanced at my watch to see what time it was. "We still have about three hours."

"Great." It was silent for a little while. We just stood there and then right when I was about to sit down there was some major turbulence that hit that plane.

"Whoa." I caught Nicole from falling while one hand grasped the seat.

"Are you okay?" I asked steadying her; putting my other arm around her. She was still in my arms. The warmth was nice. It brought back feeling to my body.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She smiled, "thanks for catching me."

I didn't want to move my arms away from her. I couldn't move them away from her.

I held her there for as long as I could until she noticed. It was a good solid forty five seconds. Not that I was counting or anything…

"Um James…" She was trying to pull away but I was involuntarily grasping her to my body. "I think you can let go of me I'm not falling anymore."

I looked down at my arms, the arms that were locking her to my body. "Oh, sorry." I loosened my arms and she eased out of them.

Breaking the awkwardness, she grinned. "Thanks for catching me."

"Anytime." I returned her smile and sat back down. With out her in my arms the numbness came back, not as bad as it was before but it was still evident.

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**A/n- Sorry I haven't updated I have been really busy, also R&R if you LOVEEEE MUSE. Because I do ;) just went to one of their concerts. Yeahhh just wanted to share it with the few people who are sticking to this story.**

**sorry this is short. And sorry if this is like poorly written but I'm just starting to write stories. If any of the brave readers who dare to read this want to give me pointers or something be my guest! Anyway R&R please **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- HEY GUYS! So since I am from America I do not use Celsius and all the other measurements the rest of the world uses. So the temperatures will be in Fahrenheit (because I'm to lazy to convert it) So if you want to later give the correct temperatures I would be very very very happy! :D… So anyway thanks for many people favorite-ing this story I have gotten a lot. So REVIEW TOO I would LOVE it. Sorry for the long ass opener note.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own James Bond.**

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*NICOLE POV

Damn that flight was long. After the torturous seven and a half-hour long flight I was happy to be in Yakutsk. Even though it was about negative 35 degrees Fahrenheit. Yes it's that cold there. It was freaking freezing! Before we exited the plane we changed into "tourist appropriate" clothes. We both had on like five layers on. We stepped outside into the intolerable cold and shivered simultaneously.

"D-d-d-damn it's cold out." My teeth chattered while I talked.

"I-I kn-kn-kn-kn-know." James wrapped his arms around his body.

We carried our luggage to the car that was waiting for us which was really shitty. We got in and put on the heat. James handed me a folder.

"Here, read this." He handed me the manila envelope.

I opened it up and shuffled through the papers.

_Mission CosRay_

_Dr. Nathaniel Mulligan, an American scientist has resided in Yaktutsk. At a branch of the Russian Academy of Sciences. This certain branch contains the largest cosmic ray detector in the world. We have been notified that Mulligan_ _has been involved with terrorist activity in the past. He also specializes in cosmic rays and has known to be quiet a madman. He has recently contacted some known terrorists which we have tabs in. oo7 and oo9's job is to figure out what is going on with Mulligan._

_-M_

"Sounds interesting." I closed up the folder and placed it on the center console of the car.

"Yes, very." James was silent through the car. He was such a thinker. At least from the few days I have known him that's the vibe I get.

We sat in silence while James directed our way to the hotel we were going to stay at. But the thing was the hotel wasn't your normal hotel it was a bunch of run down cabins. JOY! At least they were located five minutes from the city. Well it was more like a small town but still called a city.

"Well here we are." We parked the car, just when the heat started to work, and made our way to the check in building. At least it was warm in here, but that was it. The room was run down and falling apart. A young chubby woman was at the desk. James walked over.

"Charles Harrington, and my wife Veronica."

"Oh yes hello Mister" she looked at James then me, "and Misses Harrington." She talked in a heavy Russian accent. We gave her a warm smile in which she returned. We made our way to cabin four.

The door creaked loudly when we opened it. The room was rundown like the "lobby" and had only two rooms. The room where we slept and the bathroom.

"So—"

"Hold on." James walked around the room picking up things and looking behind them.

While he was doing this I started shedding off my layers. Underneath I was back in the gray sweater with the black pants. I walked over to the mirror and fixed my hair; during my primping James walked over and lifted the mirror.

"Okay, we are set." He smiled. "So just to fill you in I'm Charles Harrington and you are Veronica Harrington my lovely wife. We are traveling around the world to rekindle our lost love." He explained to me in an airy tone, it was funny.

"Sounds interesting. But why would any couple want to rekindle their love in sub zero weather?" I sat on the bed and crossed my legs.

James joined me, and whispered in my ear, seductively, "well for starters it's a way to keep _warm_" He put is arm around me, which was rapidly moving _south_, and ran his nose down my neck.

_Okay. Okay. Ummm what is he doing, this is definitely that man whore side of him coming out. But I like it. A lot. BUT WAIT no no I can't do this, we can't do this it will just screw up everything._ _I'll just think of some witty remark to make him stop._

"James, not right now. We have to concentrate on what we have to do." So much for witty.

James breathed in heavily and let out a loud sigh, showing his frustration. "You're right." He said in a clipped tone. He got up and grabbed a pillow and a blanket from the closet. "I'll sleep on the couch."

I instantly felt bad. Even though I shouldn't but I did. I saw pain in his eyes again. "If you want to sleep in the bed I'll sleep on the couch." Even though I wanted him to sleep in the bed _with_ me.

"No, no it's alright. You sleep in the bed." He offered a weak smile.

"Are you sure?" I locked eyes wit him, his were full of sadness it was unbearable

"Positive." He gave me a convincing smile.

"Okay." I said reluctantly.

"So what are we going to do tonight?" I didn't mean to make it such a sexual innuendo, but it came across that way.

"You are staying here, and I am going to check things out." He emphasized the words _You _and _I_.

"Why can't I Go with you?" I furrowed my eyebrows, I though this was a joint mission.

"I'm no doing anything drastic just scoping things out I will be back in a little while." He started to undress from his "tourist" apparel. _Wow. His abs are amazing!_ "If I should come in danger I will contact you via watch." He pointed towards his watch then mine.

"Okay." I was getting pissed, he thinks he is superior to me.

He went in the bathroom and put on some black body suit. Which looked really good on him.

"Aren't you going to freeze?" I motioned to the thin material.

"No. It acts as an extreme insulator keeping me warm. You have one too." He pointed towards my suitcase. Which I still hadn't even looked at.

"Oh. Well do whatever you have to do." I got up and grabbed a book I brought since there was nothing else to do.

"Bye." That's all he said, then he sneaked out into the night.

* * *

I was deep into reading my book when I heard the door open. It startled me, but I didn't show it. I could hide a lot of my feelings when I wanted to. Sometimes not with James

"You're still up" Aww I loved his British accent. Even when it was an angry tone.

"You're not my mother I can do whatever I want. Plus you wanted me to stay up to make sure you didn't get in trouble." I raised my eyebrow at him while I placed my book down.

"Well you looked tired as hell. Get some rest." He took off his suit and went to go change into something more comfortable.

"You should go to bed too." I called out from the room.

"I will. I will. I have to get some other work done right now." He called back.

"Ugh. Whatever." I pulled back the covers and climbed into the lumpy, un comfy bed.

When I heard James walk in I opened my eyes just a little. His idea of comfy was just a pair of black boxer briefs. They're hot but I would like to see what that big bulge is underneath. He turned off the light, but once he made is way to the couch he opened up his laptop, which then illuminated his face.

I closed my eyes again. Knowing that sleep wouldn't come for a while.

* * *

I woke up from my reoccurring nightmare, and rolled on my side. I opened my eyes to see what time it was. 3:25. I sat up and turned on the side light knowing that I wouldn't be going back to sleep for a while.

"Can't sleep?" I heard a voice come out from the blue. I totally forgot I was in the same room as James.

"Nope." I looked over to where he was sitting. Not even lying down. Sitting up with his laptop next to him.

"Me neither." We locked eyes. Again. "Are you alright?" He got up and went over to the bed.

"Um yeah I'm fine." Which was a lie. I was shaken from the nightmare. But I have learned to let it roll of my shoulders.

"You're crying. Or were…" He got up and sat down on the bed.

I swept my finger over my face feeling moisture.

"Oh, I must of have a nightmare" Trying to make it sound cavalier.

"I'm sorry." His eyes radiated sadness.

"Thanks." I never had anyone there for me when I woke up from nightmares.

He hesitantly put his arm around me. This time I didn't move away. I welcomed it. I never had anyone _comfort_ me.

"Would you like to tell me about it? That sometimes helps." He rubbed my side.

"No, I would rather talk about it in the morning or something." I rested my head on his shoulder, and started to get comfy.

"Okay." He didn't leave he just stayed there.

I closed my eyes, and fell asleep in James' arms. I slept well that night.

Hello Miss Mixed Signals.

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**A/N- Questions? Ask them! I'll most likely have answers! And if you have a tumblr ask me for it they are great! Ok so reviewing would be great I love getting reviews or atleast when people add this story to their favorites or alert. REVIEW **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n- This is in James POV**

**Disclaimer- I do not own James Bond**

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James POV

It was incredibly cold here. Even with the multiple layers. Nicole was adorable with all of those layers. This woman was killing me. I don't know how I am going to survive without trying jump her. No, I would jump any other woman except her. I would treat her like a queen. Wait she is too young to be a queen. Okay just shut the hell up James! I always ramble.

"D-d-d-damn it's cold out." Nicole's teeth chattered while she spoke.

"I-I kn-kn-kn-kn-know." I wrapped my arms around my body. What I really wanted was to wrap my arms around _her_ to keep _her _warm.

The car we were driving to the cabins was old and decrepit. Shit mobile. I turned on the heat, but it wasn't working. Damn car. I remembered about the manila envelope containing all of the information for the mission. "Here, read this."

She silently opened the folder, and read through it. I was trying to concentrate on the rode, but my eyes kept wandering over to her. Just like every other day.

"Sounds interesting." She placed the folder on the center console.

"Yes, very." I answered, not knowing what to say. I was tongue tied around her. _There is something majorly wrong with you man._ Damn I'm usually suave as hell.

"Well here we are." I parked the car just when the bloody heat started to work. Ugh this was such a shit hole. I wish there was a nicer hotel, but who the hell goes on vacations in fucking Yakutsk? Well the Harrington's do.

"Charles Harrington, and my wife Veronica." I went over to the little fat lady at the check in. Surprisingly they had a couple of people in here checking in.

"Oh yes hello Mister" she looked at me then Nicole, "and Misses Harrington." She had a heavy accent. After we received the key to our "cabin".

The door made a annoying creaking sound when we walked in. The room was as much of a shit hole as the rest of the place.

"So—"

"Hold on." I felt bad cutting her off, but I had to check for bugs, just in case she said something to jeopardize our identity. I looked behind, below, and above everything.

I came to the mirror where Nicole was at, and looked behind it. Nothing. Good.

"Okay, we are set." I gave her a quick smile. "So just to fill you in I'm Charles Harrington and you are Veronica Harrington my lovely wife. We are traveling around the world to rekindle our lost love." I told her, in a non serious tone.

"Sounds interesting. But why would any couple want to rekindle their love in sub zero weather?" She went over to the bed where I got a nice view of her behind on the way.

I joined her, I gathered the courage to whisper in her ear, rather seductively, "well for starters it's a way to keep _warm_" I brought wrapped my arm around her lower back, and ran my nose along her neck taking in her smell. It was light and sweet.

I guess I lasted a half hour before trying to get my way with her. Women may be my weakness, but Nicole can completely destroy me, I would be her slave for her if she wanted.

"James, not right now. We have to concentrate on what we have to do." Damn it! I should have waited but my dick was thinking for me, well along with my heart, and my head. Aww fuck it my whole body wanted it.

I sighed heavily; I was frustrated at myself for thinking that it would go at all. "You're right." I said in a clipped tone. Which I felt bad right away for answering in that tone. I got up and grabbed a pillow and a blanket from the closet. "I'll sleep on the couch." Knowing she didn't want me that way.

I looked at her, and we locked eyes. They were deep, but full of unknown sadness. "If you want to sleep in the bed I'll sleep on the couch." I could never let her do that. I _would_ sleep in the _same_ bed with her though.

"No, no it's alright. You sleep in the bed." I gave her a week smile

"Are you sure?" Her eyes were wide, and full of sympathy.

"Positive." I tried to give her a convincing smile, I hoped it worked.

"Okay." she said reluctantly, unconsciously running her hand through her hair. I wish that was my hand running through it.

"So what are we going to do tonight?" I know a lot of things I would like to do to you tonight, but you won't let me!

"You are staying here, and I am going to check things out." I didn't want her to come just yet I would take her out tomorrow.

"Why can't I Go with you?" She furrowed her eyebrows; she was annoyed, and pissed to say the least.

"I'm not doing anything drastic just scoping things out I will be back in a little while." I started to shed my clothing, I took off my shirt showing her what she denied. "If I should come in danger I will contact you via watch." I pointed towards my watch then hers.

"Okay." She was still mad, but her eyes were trained on the line of hair disappearing into my boxer briefs. I doubt she knew that was where she was looking at.

I went into the bathroom and put on the black suit Q packed for us.

"Aren't you going to freeze?" She pointed to the suit.

"No. It acts as an extreme insulator keeping me warm. You have one too." I pointed to her un opened suitcase, which I had some help packing with money penny. When money penny wasn't looking I would sneak in some things that would work to my benefit, but not anymore…

"Oh. Well do whatever you have to do." She didn't look at me, but instead got up to get one of her books.

"Bye." I didn't want to disturb her reading and I quietly went out.

* * *

Even with the insulator it was cold, but a bearable cold. I made way to town where the Science building was. I stood out of sight and waited by the door. It was only seven but it was pitch black out, and the streets were deserted.

About five minutes into my stake out a tall, semi muscular man walked out. I took out my night vision binoculars and looked through them. The man's face was littered with scars, relatively new scars by the looks of it. I snapped a picture; there was a folder in his hand labeled with some sort of coding which I took a picture of also.

The man, which I _assumed_ was Mulligan got to her car. I got the plate number, and followed it.

I followed it as far as I could until it turned onto an un marked street. I took not of it and made my way back to the cabin. I walked slowly out of sight. I didn't want to go back to the cabin. I did because of Nicole. The suit gave me a cold numbness feeling, my body temperature was fine, and the suit indicated it was, but when I wasn't in the presence of Nicole it was back to that cold numbness. I didn't like it anymore I was starting to enjoy the warmth and feeling Nicole gave me.

I finally arrived back at the house about a half-hour later since Mulligan lead me so far. I walked in to find Nicole sitting up and reading. She flinched a little when she heard the door opened. But covered it up right away.

"You're still up" I was worried that she wouldn't have enough sleep.

"You're not my mother I can do whatever I want. Plus you wanted me to stay up to make sure you didn't get in trouble." She raised her eyebrow at me she was sassy. I liked that

"Well you looked tired as hell. Get some rest." I started stripping my suit, I headed to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I always slept in my boxer briefs, so I hoped Nicole wasn't against them. Nobody was.

"You should go to bed too." I heard he call from the other room.

"I will. I will. I have to get some other work done right now." She knew it was unfair that I was making her go to bed.

"Ugh. Whatever." I didn't expect her to give up that easily.

I slowly walked out of the bathroom because Nicole was probably on her way to being fully asleep. I turned off the light and sat on the couch. I loaded the pictures that I took and sent them to Money Penny to give to M.

I did some extra work, and then just messed around on the computer. I probably played solitaire for about two hours.

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About my hundredth solitaire game a light turned on. Which brought me out of my trance. Nicole was up.

"Can't sleep?" I asked her. Which startled her. She probably forgot that I was with her.

"Yeah." She pulled her hair into a ponytail despite the fact that her hair was all tangled it still was sexy.

"Me neither." We locked eyes. Again. "Are you alright?" I noticed that she was crying.

"Um yeah I'm fine." She was lying.

"You're crying. Or were…" I got up and sat on the bed leaning my back up on the headboard.

She brought her hand to her face and felt the tears.

"Oh, I must of have a nightmare" She was obviously disturbed by it.

"I'm sorry" I knew the feeling.

"Thanks." She gravitated closer to me. She might not have known it but she did.

I put my arm around her. Hoping she wouldn't reject me. She needed comfort and I would give it to her. I never got comfort when I woke up from bad dreams just darkness, coldness, and numbness. The fantastic thing was she didn't pull away. Instead she snuggled closer to me.

"Would you like to tell me about it? That sometimes helps." I gently rubbed her side. Her skin was warm underneath my hands. It was soo nice.

"No, I would rather talk about it in the morning or something." She rested her head on my chest. I could stay like this forever.

"Okay."

She closed her eyes, and wrapped her arm around me towards my um… Dick. Which automatically made me hard. I didn't want to get up either to disturb her so I could um jerk off. So I just lay there with aching pain. But as I said before I would be Nicole's slave.

I soon feel asleep. I found my 'sleeping pill' and she went by the name of Nicole.

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**A/N- So yeah REVIEW please! Hoped you liked it.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Warning this chapter has some lemony stuff. And its longish. At least comparing to the others.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own James Bond**

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I woke up with Nicole still in my arms. She was still asleep, and she had a warm smile on her face. I liked it. At least my hard subsided. I didn't want to move from this spot even though my back was killing me along with my neck. My hand was still at her side gripping her lightly. I moved it slowly away to rub the back of my neck. Before my hand reached my neck a soft hand grasped it. Nicole's soft hand.

"Don't." She moved my hand back to her side. "Leave it there."

I gladly left my hand there. I slowly slid down so my head rested on a pillow. I glanced at the clock; it was 6:15. We could sleep for another two three hours.

"Thank you." Nicole whispered.

"For what?" No matter how romantic this was I was pretty tired.

"For being there." I pulled her closer to my body.

"You're welcome. Now lets get some more sleep."

We both fell asleep again. Even though it wasn't a lot of sleep I felt great, beside the pain in my back and neck, when I woke up.

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I moved to turn to Nicole, but she wasn't there. Once I heard the shower running I knew she was in there just the thought of her in a shower. _No _just stop. I got up and stretched my back. It cracked and it felt good. After a little more stretching I waited for the shower. The room was cold so I threw on some sweatpants over my boxer briefs.

Twenty minutes went by before Nicole came out dressed and dried hair. It had a nice wave to it. She was wearing some dark blue jeans and a black long sleeve shirt.

"Hey." I stood up and walked over to her. Before I could pull her into hug she had her arms around me.

"Thanks." She mumbled in my chest. The warmth of her breath felt good on my bare chest.

I wrapped my arms around her. "Any time." We stood like this for a while. I hope we could make this last.

"Well I need to take a shower now, I don't smell the greatest." She unwrapped her arms while I unwrapped mine.

"You're right." She laughed, and I made my way around her.

I walked over to the bathroom shutting the door behind me. I turned on the water and took off my clothes. The shower was way too cold when I walked in, which caught me by surprise.

"Shit!" The water was freezing. I jumped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me. I heard a soft knock at the door.

"Are you alright?" Nicole's voice sounded concerned.

"Yeah, just stepped into the shower before it warmed up." I put my hand under the water to see if it was still cold. It was.

"Yeah it takes a little over 5 minutes for it to warm up." She giggled.

"You got to be kidding me." I moaned I was cold and I had to wait for my shower to heat up. Yeah I no I was kind of spoiled.

"Nope." I could see her grinning like a fool. Securing my towel I opened up the door and saw her on the bed. She was sitting crossed legged with a stupid grin on her face.

"Just grabbing a sweatshirt." I pointed over to my suitcase.

"Haha okay." She still was grinning. "You should know that this place is old, and that it probably takes awhile for it to heat up. I mean c'mon look at the place its pretty run down. You can't everything to be a Ritz Carlton for you."

"I don't, I just wasn't thinking." I rolled my eyes and grabbed the sweatshirt out of my bag.

I through it on and sat at the end of the bed. "So how long do you think I have?"

"I'd say about four more minutes." She laughed and crawled over to me.

"Did you get any sleep?" She asked running her hand through her hair. If only that was my hand running through her hair.

"A little, but my back is killing me from sitting up like that." I usually don't mind pain since I deal with it all the time but I'm such a baby around her.

"Here let me help." She kneeled behind me and started massaging my shoulders. "Feel good?"

I already felt better, "Where did you learn how to do this so well?" It was insanely pleasurable.

"I don't know. Just picked it up over the years." She kneaded harder taking her thumbs and rubbing them at the base of my neck.

She rubbed my back for a while until she broke the silence. "I think your shower is warmed up." I felt bad that she was rubbing my back when I could for her. I was also sad that it was over.

"I'll finish up after your shower. " She smiled and grabbed her book.

I tested the water, which was now warm. I let the warmth wash over me. Nicole has thoroughly changed me. I stood in the shower for a while after washing my hair and soaping up. For a while I stood there, just thinking about nothing. Well not totally nothing. Nicole was on my mind, and same with Vesper. Vesper seemed to be in my thoughts all the time, but ever since Nicole had come into the picture she had been moving slowly out of my mind. Vesper would always remain with me though. She was truly my first love. And up until I met Nicole, I barley slept, felt numb, embraced pain and cold, and didn't give a damn about anything. I still have those feelings time to time, but one feeling that is constant is the guilt. I will never be able to forgive myself for Vespers death. If only I went with her to the bank. If only I gave them the money. If only she never left my side. If only we _never_ met….

I couldn't change the past though, and I had to let it go. Nicole has actually put life into me, I feel now. I like the warmth, and I do give a damn. But still that guilt lingers. And it will always linger.

I walked out refreshed knowing that Nicole would be right behind that door. Even though I have only known her about a week I felt strong feelings for her. Grabbing the towel I quickly dried my hair. I through on some khakis and walked out into the room.

Nicole and gave her a big smile when I walked out. I returned it and walked over to my suitcase.. I threw on a gray thermal shirt planning to change out of it later into something nicer, and grabbed my laptop and joined her on the bed.

"How was your shower?" She asked not moving her eyes from her book.

"Relaxing." What else was I going to tell her, that I had some deep thoughts about the girl I used to love? No.

"That's good. So what are we going to do today?" She still was reading the book.

I set my laptop to the side and turned towards her. "Well we can't really do anything until it gets dark. But once it gets dark then we are going into the science building to find out some information. And his house.

She placed her book down and repeated my actions. "So I get to go tonight." She said with some sarcasm, but I could tell she was actually serious and was hoping she would get to go with me.

"Yes you do." I smiled and got up. "I'm starving lets go find something to eat." She got up after me and we threw on the bundles of clothes to venture out into the unbearable cold.

* * *

"Would you like to tell me about your nightmare?" I usually don't push on those things, but I wanted to know so I could help her.

"It was about something the happened about year ago." She looked down at her glass of water. The breakfast wasn't great here but it was decent. We had been having light conversation until now.

"That's it?" I lifted my eyebrows in question. She looked nervous and I wish I could try and help her, but I feel like nothing would.

"I'll tell you later when we get back to cabin." She ran her hand through her hair, and we got up. I paid for the breakfast and we went through the tedious process of putting back all of the layers that would soon be taken off five minutes later. That's what subzero weather did.

We walked back quickly to the cabin, anticipating the warmth. If it was one thing this place had it was a great heating system. They needed it too.

We got to the porch and I opened the door letting Nicole go in first. I shut it as fast as I could once I got inside.

It took us a couple minutes to discard the five layers on top of us. Finally when we were finished we went on the bed. We didn't hold each other like last night but we lay next to each other and stared up at the ceiling.

I waited for her to initiate the conversation since it was about a personal issue. I waited and waited, and after about twenty minutes, yeah it was that long, I looked over. She was fast asleep. Figures.

I fell asleep too, but before I set an alarm for three. It was twelve right now so a good three more hours of sleep would work.

* * *

The alarm clock both brought us out of our peaceful dreams. Well at least my peaceful dreams.

I got up letting out a load groan and stretched. I watched Nicole get up do similar stretches.

I didn't want to bring up the subject of the nightmare, she could tell me when she was ready. I understood her completely.

"Damn I feel out of it." Nicole rubbed her eyes, which obstructed her vision, and with that result she bumped right into the dresser. "Ouch." She laughed. She laughed. Laughed at getting hurt.

"Are you alright?" I looked down at her thigh where she hit it. I couldn't see anything but it was a reflex thing.

"Yeah I'm fine. This wasn't bad at all. Maybe just a bruise, but it's fine." She walked around a little bit, and then settled on the couch. "Shit, this couch is uncomfortable." I watched her wiggle around to find a comfortable spot. There wasn't any either.

"Tell me about it." I rolled my eyes and took over the bed. Nicole got up and tried to join me on the bed.

"Nope. You're not getting on." I took up the whole bed so she wasn't able to get on.

"Oh c'mon James! You can share." She tried to move me, but I wouldn't budge.

"No I can't!" I laughed. Damn I haven't laughed like this since Vesper. I haven't had fun like this since Vesper. Yeah I call this fun because when it's sub zero weather outside and you're locked up in a cabin with nothing else to do, it just screams fun.

"Well then I'll make you share!" She jumped on top of me, her legs straddling my hips. She had triumph written all over her face. "Ha!"

So I grabbed her hips and rolled her onto to the bed so I was on top. I supported my weight with both forearms and leaned in real close to her.

"Ha!" I said casually.

"See you know how to share!" She smiled knowing that she still beat me.

"You caught me there." I smiled and brought my lips to hers. She didn't push me away either.

She lifted her hands to hold my face, and then deepened the kiss. I rolled over so she was on top again, I let her rest all her weight on me, she didn't weigh that much. I lifted her shirt up, just a little and snaked my arms around her waist.

"Mmmm." She pushed right into me, making me hard. She knew it too. I felt her smile against my lips. "You like this?" She pushed into me again, which caused my hips to buck up.

"Y-yes." I broke the kiss and started kissing down her neck. "Very much." I sucked against her neck. Most likely leaving a hickey behind. I lifted her shirt off revealing a black bra.

She then took off my shirt. "To be fair." She threw my shirt to the side. I'd find it later. Her hands explored my toned torso. She traced all the contours, and then retraced them with her tongue. She got to my happy trail and kissed her way down to the edge of my pants, she paused there teasing me.

"Well this is a problem." Her breath caressed my skin. She slid back up and brought her lips to mine. She started moving her hands down my torso, her fingers slipped between the waistband and grazed at the edge of my boxer briefs.

Just before she was about to slip her fingers underneath my phone went off. And most likely it was M.

"You have to be kidding me." I groaned under my breath. I was beginning to miss the warmth of her body on top of mine.

"Hello?"

"James, I want to know how you two stand on the mission." Her voice was stern, and I was still kind of on a high from the heated moment Nicole and me had.

"Well…umm…" Just then Nicole stuck her hand down my pants. I gave her a dirty look. "Well I did some staking out the night before, but… ummm…" Her hand wrapped around my length, "tonight we are going to take uhhhh" She squeezed, increasing the pressure. "…A look around and find out exactly what Mulligan uhh" Nicole was giggling her head off. "…What Mulligan is doing."

M would definitely be suspicious. "James may I ask way you are loosing you sentences like a maniac?" _Shit._ I had to think of an excuse.

"Well I uhh." Nicole un did my pants and pulled them down along with my boxer briefs. "My suitcase fell and I had to pick up all my clothes so I kept loosing my train of thoughts." Nicole got down on her knees and her mouth wrapped around my dick.. ."Mhhh." I made a muffled coughing sound to hide the moan that was going to escape my mouth.

"Alright James. Please report back after who achieve that. Goodbye." The phone hung of before I said bye back.

"Ohhhh you are going to pay for that." I said in an angry tone, even though she knew I was joking.

"MmmHmmm." She hummed.

_Fuck._ I was in a daze the rest a time. I barely remembered half it. All I know is that she swallowed…

I pulled up my pants and zipped the zipper. She stood up; she was about three inches shorter than I was. I put my forehead to hers and smiled. "Thanks, I've wanted that for awhile now."

"You're welcome." After that I pulled her a deep kiss.

I broke the kiss, "Well I do have to reciprocate." Her lips curved up into a smile.

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**A/N- So yeah so you are probably like that happened wayyyyyyyyyy to fast. But hey its my story. Anyhoo review please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- Chp. 7 **

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**If you sometimes see the name Amanda it is actually Nicole. In a different story I wrote the girl was named Amanda and I am just used to writing it. I try to catch it but I sometimes pass over it. So sorry if it gets you confused and stuff. I have been good though the past chapters to find the mistake.**

**Disclaimer- I don't own James Bond.**

**Nicole's POV.**

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"Okay. Lets grab something to eat, and we will head out in about an hour. So around eight okay." James explained while he looked around for his shirt that I discarded from before. "Where did that shirt go?" He had a puzzled look on his face. It was so cute. Stop. I just can't get my hopes up with having an actual relationship with James. I sat there pondering the subject for a while.

"Hello? Nicole?" A hand was waving insanely in front of my face.

"Wh-What?" I ran my hand through my hair, pulling some unwanted knots on the way.

"You alright?" He sat down next to me and placed his hand on the inside of thigh.

"Yeah- Yeah I'm fine." I gave him a reassuring pat on the hand and got up. "Are we ready? I'm starving." We went to the little dinner they had at the main cabin. It was a quiet dinner, but not an awkward quiet, it was a peaceful and relaxing quiet. I must say that I wasn't that nervous for tonight; I was excited.

I don't know if this is just a fling, with James, or if it was long term. I didn't want to become clingy or anything, and I sure as hell didn't want a broken heart. I'm having doubts for sure. I definitely should not have gone down on him. I always do the wrong things at the wrong moments and such. I always wish I could go back and not make the mistake, but you can't.

"Ready to go back?" James stood up and stretched a little. He always was stretching.

"Yeah sure." I stood up, and James walked over to help me with my coat_s_.

As we walked through the sub zero weather back to our cabin James grabbed my hand. Even with the gazillion inch thick gloves, I could feel his hand squeeze mine.

"Hey." He turned towards me once the cabin door was closed. "You alright, you seem pretty out of it." He looked concerned.

"Oh don't worry it always happens to me when I take a long nap." I ran my hand through my hair for the umpteenth time, I gave him a quick smile.

He came close and whispered in my ear "Well I know something that will get you out of your haze."

"Like what?" I teased. I really wasn't in the mood for going into that. Before we only did foreplay, oral, and I think if I went all the way then I would totally regret it. But I also didn't want to shatter his huge, but fragile ego.

"Well we could finish what we didn't start before." He gave me a little nudge.

I threw my last lair on the couch and went over to the bed. He followed me thinking that we were. "Not right now James." I looked up at him, and saw that he was disappointed.

"Don't let that bruise your ego James. Come on." I rolled my eyes and reached for my book.

I didn't hear some snide remark from him; instead I heard the bathroom door click. I looked up and surely enough he was in the bathroom. He would get over. I hope…

I was reading my book and images kept sneaking into my head, they were unclear but I knew exactly what was going on. This whole thing was torturing me, its been like this virtually every day. These memories haunting me. I must say they have gotten better since I actually have some connection with James. If you call that a connection… With all of these memories playing through my mind I was getting a headache. I sat up and pinched the bridge of my nose. I didn't know where the Advil was and I didn't feel like finding it. I squeezed my eyes shut so the light wouldn't bother me, and I increased the pressure on my bridge.

"Here take this." I heard a concerned British voice. I didn't look up. "Come on Nicole take this; pinching the bridge of your nose is only going to temporarily help." He was starting to get irritated. "Nicole, really what's wrong?" He sat next to me and started to gently rub my back.

"A lot of things." _You, and my old boyfriend Nate… _

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" He looked kind of disappointed but I wasn't going to be like 'well for one thing I worried that this is just a little fling and oh yeah I keep having reoccurring memories and dreams about what my ex did to me' Oh yeah like I'd definitely tell him that.

"Later." I looked down at the floor and ran my hand through my hair. Again. "I promise." I gave him a reassuring look, and by the looks of his face he believed me.

* * *

These suits definitely worked. I felt warm, really warm. Whoever created these was a genius. I was following James down the road. It took us about a half hour to get to where we were going. Mulligan's house. He lived on a private road and his house was one hundred percent better than the cabins that we were residing in.

"Stop." I whispered in a barely audible voice. James turned around and I motioned to the cameras that were suspended on the roofs ledge. James motioned me for him to follow. We went over to the side and stayed close to the outside wall of the house. We found a ledge and climbed it. I doing it more elegant than how James climbed it. We came to a door, which was most likely locked because, who doesn't lock doors. But it wasn't.

James slid it opened and we stepped in. We were in a grand bedroom, and everything was in immaculate order. Nothing out of place. Two the left of the bed there was a door slightly open, from the minimal view it looked like an office.

"I'll looked in there." James pointed to the office door, "And you look around in here." He walked quietly to the other room. Once he was out of sight in the other room I looked around.

The room looked like no one lived there; it was too neat. Something on the dresser caught my attention, since it was the only thing that was not in a draw or stacked neatly. I went over to it and saw a plane ticket, and hotel reservations. I read through the plane ticket.

**Newark New Jersey**

**Newark Airport: Continental Airlines**

**Flight: 365**

**Date: January 17****th****, 2010**

**Departure: 9:00 pm**

**Arrival: 3:00 pm**

January 17th was in four days. I quickly took a picture of the evidence, and started to shuffle through the hotel information. Mulligan was staying at the Waldorf. He had an expensive taste…

"James, I got something." I whispered, I knew he would hear me too. Seconds later he was at my side. I showed him everything, and he smiled. "He's going to be in New York in four days."

"This is good. Okay let's get back to the hotel and I'll make arrangements." We stalked out of the house leaving everything as it was and made our way back to the cabin.

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"Money Penny." James was pacing back in and forth. "I need you to book us a flight to Newark New Jersey. And book us a hotel in the Waldorf please. We found out Mulligan will be traveling there in four days, and we want to get there before him." James listened intently to Money Penny's response. As he was listening he gave me a wink and a smile. His smile made me melt.

"Okay. Thank you Money Penny." He ended the call. "We finally get to get out of this God forsaken place." He placed his phone down and sat next to me.

"When do we leave?" I scooted back by the pillows so I could lean back.

James followed me and pulled me close to him. "Money Penny said she would get back to me. So… We have some time to kill." His hand ran up my thigh, and he rubbed little circles on the inside of it. _Oh God… _

"Well, before we do anything," I moved his hand away from my thigh, and a cold spot lingered "I have to take a shower." I patted his chest and got up.

"No, you can wait." His hand grasped my wrist, and he pulled me back down to the bed with him. "Now lets do, what we didn't get to earlier…" He smiled and started to kiss me. I really didn't want to go that far yet… I know I went pretty far yesterday, but I didn't want to go all the way… I broke the kiss, even though it was pretty great.

"Not right now." I rolled away from him and placed my feet firmly on the ground. "But you could un-do the zipper on this." I lifted my hand at the back of my neck where the zipper started for the black thermal suit.

"Sure." I heard him approach me from behind; then I felt his hand being placed at the small of my back and his mouth barley touching the my ear. "I'll help only if you give me that rest of the massage you promised me earlier before." I felt his lips curve up, which made me smile too.

"Sure. As long as you un do zipper this." Slowly the zipper went down, and my exposed back made me shiver.

"Cold?" _God is British accent._

"Just a little." I sighed, and just as I sighed I felt a kiss at the base of my neck, and slowly a trail of kissed were left down my spine. Each time he broke the kiss I got colder.

"Now… Do you really have to take a shower?" His words spread across my lower back, which resulted into goose bumps all over.

But before I could answer him his lips were on mine, and his hand were pulling down my thermal suit to the ground. He wasn't going to seduce me so easily and I really wanted to de compress in the shower. "Yes, it helps me relax."

"I know some other way to help or relax…and relieve the tension." He pulled me into him, and pushed against me.

"Maybe after." I broke free of his embrace and walked over to the bathroom. "I won't be that long."

After I had shut the door I fully shedded my thermal suit and turned on the water. Unlike James I knew to wait for the water to heat up. Once it was fully heated I stepped in letting the warm water snake over my skin. The water reached every inch of me and I finally relaxed.

I stood in the shower thinking for a while. Nate had screwed me up. I loved him, and he was abusive. I didn't care though because I was dumb. He was a manipulative neat freak and treated me like shit. I did try to leave once, but that resulted in some bad things. I was sent to the hospital because of it. 'I fell down the stairs', that's what I told the ER what happened… And they believed me.

When I stepped out the shower the cold hair wrapped around by body, the heat left my body completely. I quickly wrapped a towel around myself, which helped me keep semi warm. As I did my nightly routine, brushing my teeth, combing my hair, etcetera, I thought about New York. God I loved that City. I was there all the time when I was younger; I only lived about a half hour away. I lived in New Jersey and I always went there. But having the city so close was beneficial to me.

When I was younger I dabbled in some modeling nothing too intense, but having the city close by helped me pursue it. In the end though I decided to get into the government. My younger sister Alicia ended up taking my place in the modeling world. She is always on some magazine cover, and I am proud of her for that. When she was younger she was on the shy side, but now she might be the most social person I know. I missed her I hadn't talked to her in about two weeks. We usually talked all the time, but with this mission thing and me moving to England I didn't have time to.

A knock on the door wrung through my thoughts pulling me out of my memories and problems.

"Yes?" I called out as I took the towel to my head and scrunched it lightly.

"Are you almost done I really have to go to the bathroom." His voice was desperate, and cute at the same time.

"Yeah just about. Hold on." I grabbed my clothes, and secured the towel around me. I opened the door, and James was waiting right my the door. Along with his voice being desperate his face was too. "It's all yours."

"Thanks." He smiled and ran passed me and closed the door. About twenty seconds later I heard the faucet turn on, and I wasn't finished changing. I rushed to put my clothes on, and once the door opened I pulled my shirt over my head.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have had so many bottles of water before." He laughed and walked over to where I was standing.

"That's alright." I laughed and walked over to the bed and grabbed my book. As I got comfortable James joined me with his laptop doing work I guess. "How's your back." Remembering that I promised him another back rub, but also the way he slept the night before.

"It still kind of hurts. But it will probably get worse again tonight because of that damn couch." He pointed over to the lumpy looking couch.

"You know this bed is big enough for two people right?" I hinted to him, because the night before I slept so well with him near me.

"Are you sure?" He closed up his laptop and got up and walked over to his suitcase.

"Positive." I watched him lift his shirt over his head. _Damn_ his back was muscular.

Once he put his shirt in the suitcase he walked back to the bed.

"Come here." I pulled him to the center of the bed." Lie on your stomach.

"You really don't have to do this." By the look of hid face, he wanted it. And needed it.

I motioned with my figure to get on his on his stomach. Once he was settled I straddled his lower back and began kneading the base of my palms on his shoulder blades.

"That feels good." James' voice was muffled since his head was faced down.

As I was rubbing his back I noticed scars and healing bruises that looked like there were made about a week and a half ago, two weeks. I didn't really notice them before, but now I did.

"Where did you get all of these?" I traced over a random scar, and lightly went over a small bruise in the middle-side of his back.

"There nothing, just some battle wounds." He propped himself up on his forearms and turned his head. "Nothing you need to worry about."

I got off his back and he turned around and grabbed me at the sides and pulled me on top of his chest. I rested my head on top of his chest and just laid there for awhile feeling the rise and fall of his chest. While I was lying down James was rubbing small circles at my lower back. It put me in a trance, and I was half asleep when James' phone rang. I went to get off of him, but he locked me in with one arm and used his other to grab the cell phone on the nightstand.

"Hello?" He played at the hem of my shirt.

"Mhmm…Yeah…Okay will do. Thank you Money Penny." He ended the call and placed the phone back on the nightstand. He lifted me off him and sat up. "The plane just left. It will be here in about seven hours. So lets pack up and try to get some sleep. We'll leave around four. I'm going to tell the front desk that we will be checking out then, so just start packing. Okay?" He got up and started to put on the surplus amounts of jackets.

"Kay." I got up and started to fold up everything, and as I was doing this I set aside some clothes to wear for the flight. The flight was going to take about eighteen hours. Long flights were the worst.

* * *

James came back and packed up his things too, after we finished we attempted to get some sleep. I don't know about James but sleeping right by him made me sleep better. It was nice. I still had the horrible dreams I have every night, and about an hour before we woke up the haunting face of Nate woke me. The face of how I saw him last. Bloody and in pain. But he had a look of hatred in his eyes so intense that I couldn't go back to sleep.

I looked next to me and James was fast asleep, I didn't move because I didn't want to wake him up. So I just stared at the ceiling and I fell asleep at three thirty. And Nate entered my dreams again…

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_Beep…Beep…BEEP…BEEP BEEEPP BEEEEPPPP!_

"Hey Nicole." The annoying alarm clock and James shaking my shoulder woke me up.

"Y-yeah?" I opened up my eyes and looked at the clock. It read three forty five. Wow. I only got fifteen more minutes of sleep.

"Time to get ready, we should be out in about fifteen minutes or less okay?" James was already putting on clothes.

Fifteen minutes later we were out of there and on our way to the shitty airport. When we arrived the jet was waiting for us. We returned the car and set off for the eighteen-hour flight.

"We finally get to leave this place." I smiled as I walked into the warm Jet.

"I know I am so happy." The door shut behind James, and we discarded the unwanted clothing that kept us warm from the cold air. We both sat down across from each other. "Also since we are arriving three days earlier than Mulligan we have time to spare." James smiled and adjusted his seat and got comfortable.

"Yeah, that will be great." I did the same thing and got comfortable. I was happy to get back to the US, and happy to just get out of this place. It was way too cold here.

We sat in silence for a while, and waited for the plane to take off. Once we started to take off James broke the silence.

"Nicole? Would you like to tell me why there was a picture of you in Mulligan's office?"

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**A/N- Uh-Oh… So have you made the connection yet or no?**

**Review please, subscribe, and alert, and oh yeah review please : )**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Chapter 8**

**sorry this chapter is a little shorter than the rest of them. They're not that long to start with anyway**

**Disclaimer: Don't own James Bond**

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"Wait. What?" I raised my eyebrow in question. I had no clue who this man was, and why the fuck he had a picture of me.

"When I was in his office there was a picture of you in one of the drawers." His voice was harsh and his eyes were glaring at me. If he thinks that I was affiliated with this Mulligan man then he was dead wrong.

"Well I really don't know why there was a picture of me. And do you honestly think that I am associated with this guy? If you do then you're dead wrong." My tone matched his.

"You might not know you were associated with him, but you could have been in the past. Why the hell would he have a picture of you then?" He softened his tone, but it was still clipped.

"Well a lot of people could find my picture… Let me see a picture of this guy again." James stood up and got the file for Mulligan out of his brief case.

"Here you go." I grabbed it quickly from his hand and opened it up. I shuffled through the papers and looked for a picture of Mulligan. I reached the photo, and I studied it. The man had deep scars all around his face. Piercing blue eyes and jet black hair. He looked familiar but with the scars it could be anything. I stared at the picture more carefully; studying the scars. I sat there for a while, and then realization kicked in. _No. it couldn't. No. No. No. No no no no no no!_ It was Nate, the scars where from the time I cut him up with glass shards after he tried to kill me. I ran away to go to the police. But he was let off and confessed that along with insomnia he was severely depressed. And his 'punishment' was intense therapy sessions. _I think I have to throw up._

"Excuse me." I bolted from the seat, hand over mouth, and headed towards the bathroom. I faintly heard James calling my name in a concerned voice. I locked the door and leaned over the toilet. But I didn't throw up. Just dry heaving. I sunk to the floor and pulled me knees to my chest. _Oh god. This Mulligan guy is Nate..._

"Nicole?" There was loud knocking. "Come on open it up. What's wrong." I didn't answer him; I just sat with my knees to my chest staring into blank space. "Nicole. You can't stay in here for eighteen hours. You're going to have to come out sometime soon." I still didn't answer him. About five minutes later I heard him walk away. _Good._ I just wanted to be alone.

I sat there staring and thinking if Nate still wanted to kill him. Yes I had a license to kill and yes I could defend myself against many people, but this man had some invisible hold over me, and always seemed to have the upper hand. A clicking sound pulled me out of my worries. I heard a muffled 'thank you' , I guess he got a key from the stewardess, and then the door being opened.

"Nicole. Tell me what's wrong. And I am serious. Tell me." He sat down next to me and pulled me into him.

"Th-That's Nate." I whispered. Just saying his name made me cringed.

"Who's Nate?" He asked in question. I assumed he was looking at me, but I could be wrong since I was staring at the wall in front of me.

"Nate." I couldn't come to explain, it was too much.

"Nicole. You are going to have to tell me who Nate is." James rubbed up and down my arm while I gathered the courage to explain.

"Nate is my ex. But his last name isn't Mulligan. It's Jenkins. And he had light brown hair, not jet-black. But those scars. I gave them to him and they were identical to the ones in the picture. And those eyes, those blue, blue eyes..." I drifted off remembering those crazy blue eyes.

"How did you give him the scars?" James lifted my chin up and turned my face towards his.

"I gave him those scars because he tried to kill me. He was strangling me and I couldn't escape from his grasp, but I made us fall on a glass table which then broke, so I grabbed the shards of glass and cut up his face." I looked straight into his eyes. And his eyes looked straight into mine.

"Why isn't he in jail?" James asked his voice sounding angry.

I stood up and he got up with me. Unlike commercial airplanes this bathroom was big, luxurious, and clean.

"He was let off because he filed for clinical depression, and insomnia. Which was total bullshit. So now he is on medication and is going through therapy" I leaned against the wall and waited for James' response.

"Oh…" Was all he could say.

"Yeah, and now he probably wants to kill me again." I looked down at the floor and stared at my shoes.

"Why did he want to kill you?" James looked concerned.

"Because it was the fourth time I tried to leave him." I looked down at my toes.

It was silent for a while.

"Come here." James pulled me into a hug, and I instantly wrapped my arms around him. "Well he won't kill you. First of all you are trained to kill, and second of all you have me." I looked up at him and smiled, which he returned.

"I can't believe I didn't catch it before." _It was so obvious!_

James kissed the top of my head, and stroked down my hair. "That's alright. Lets not dwell right now. I suggest that we just relax and not talk about it for a while. We got about seventeen and a half hours left to talk about it, so why don't we just sit down and relax."

I looked up at him, "Okay."

James opened up the bathroom door and grabbed my hand. He led me back to the seats, but instead of letting me go back to my seat he pulled me on top of him so I was in his lap.

"What are you doing?" I giggled. Giggled like an idiot.

"You can stay with me right now. Keep me warm." He pulled me closer to him and his arms locked me into him. So I couldn't escape.

"There are blankets for that James." I tried to pull away, but it was a failed attempt. To be honest I didn't even want to leave this spot. But I was being stubborn.

"Well no matter what you say I'm not letting go of you." He held on to me tighter, and I just wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder.

"You win this time." I gave up with a sigh.

As James played with a strand of my hair, I tugged at the collar of his shirt. This went on for about ten minutes until we realized that that was boring.

"You bored?" James asked, still with my hair in his hand.

I let go of the collar and sat up. "Yes." I smiled, "What do you want to d—" I was silenced by his lips. He deepened the kiss while I shifted in his lap. I moved my legs so the were on either side of his. Basically I was straddling him. His hands moved slowly down to my ass while I started un-buttoning his shirt.

"Hold on." James' hand left my ass and reached up. He pressed down a button.

"The stewardesses won't bother us, and they can't see or hear us." Just then the door clicked that separated us from the workers. His hand returned to my ass and he began to kiss me again. I continued to un-button his shirt. Finally I got them un-buttoned and I pulled his shirt down his arms. Once it was off I through it over to the side.

He lifted up my shirt and pulled it over my head. Once my shirt was removed he ran his hands up my sides as my fingers snaked through his hair. I pulled his head closer, and his tongue went deeper than before.

James' mouth moved down my neck and to my collarbone. I took this as an advantage to talk. "You know we still have about seventeen hours left. Are we going to do this the whole entire time?"

"If you want…" He said against the base of my neck.

We went back to kissing each other. There was some groping and such but nothing went too far. After we became too tired and both of us ended up sleeping. James still had me in his arms and didn't unwrap them even after he fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up a couple hours later, I was still in James' lap, and he was up too.

"How long have you been up?" I asked blinking a couple times to wake up. I always was out of it after naps.

"For about a half hour, but I didn't move because I didn't want to wake you." He rubbed my back, which was still bare. "Are you cold?"

"Yeah just a little and you could have woken me up." I got up from his lap and grabbed my shirt, which was on the floor. I through it over my head and was automatically warm. I found his and handed it to him.

"Thanks." He stood up and put on his shirt. It was still opened and you could still see his abs. His hot abs.

We both stretched for a little since we were sitting in the same chair for about four hours. I watched his muscles tightened as he stretched his arms over his head. He caught me staring and winked.

"How long do we have until we land?" I asked grabbing my laptop, which I hadn't used since we left for this mission.

James looked down at his watch, "About thirteen more hours."

"Great…" I went back to my seat and opened up my laptop and waited for it to boot up. "When was the last time you were in New York?" I asked curious if was ever in the city.

"It was a while ago and I was only there for a day or two…" He sat back down too and started to button up his shirt. Damn. Now I couldn't stare at his abs anymore.

"Well then. Since we have about a day or two before Mulligan even arrives I'll show you around." I winced at the name Mulligan, because Mulligan was Nate and Nate tried to kill me.

"I would love that." James smiled and lifted his arms behind his head and leaned back.

While James was relaxing I was on my computer, since I was in a private jet I had Internet, which I didn't have to pay for like on the Major airlines. I went to check the weather for New York, and of course it would be cold, but not as cold as the previous place we were just in.

A half hour later I put away my computer and took out my book, I was almost finished with it and I could probably kill an hour or two by reading it.

I had only a chapter left when James interrupted me from my book.

"Nicole?" I looked up and saw that James was looking at me intently.

"Yes?" I put my book face down to save my page.

"Was that what was bothering you that night and the following days?" He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Yes…" I took a deep breath, "Every night I have re occurring dreams of my bad experiences with him. Sometimes they are just so bad. I actually haven't had a good night of sleep in months…" At least I finally admitted it to somebody.

"God… I'm sorry. I can relate to that at some level." His eyes filled with remorse and pain. They were so distant. Distant like the first time I met him.

"Want to talk about it?" I gave him a very weak smile.

"Not yet." He looked down at his hands and changed the subject. "I can't wait to get off this plane."

He would tell me soon. "Oh I know. But other people have to ride with crying babies and fat snoring guys next to them. So I would say this is a step up. Don't ya thing?" I laughed a little remember the multiple time that had happened to me.

"True, I've been there, but just being on a long plane ride." He rolled is eyes and sighed heavily.

"Just suck it up." I slapped his knee and gave him a big smile.

"Ugh! I don't think I can." He laughed obviously joking.

I got up from my seat and went to grab a water from the back. "I think you can, and do want a water?" I pointed towards where the water was.

"No thanks, I'm fine."

As I walked over to the water I started to think about James. Me and James. All James probably thought of this was a hook up. I wish it were more. But I highly doubt it. The thought of this made me depressed. I had feelings for him, strong ones.

I opened up a little fridge and grabbed a Poland Spring. I opened it up and took a huge sip out of it. The cool water traveled down my throat and quenched my thirst. I twisted the cap back on and walked back. The thought of this only being a hook up kind of thing still bugging me.

I guess I showed that it was bothering me too because James took note of it.

"Is Mulligan or um Jenkins still bothering you?" His eyes looked gentle and caring.

I didn't make eye contact and sat back down in the seat that faced him. "Yeah, just a little." I lied.

"Nicole. I know you are lying." What was I thinking lying to someone who can catch a lie like that.

"Well I have a lot of things bothering me, but they're personal issues. But it's not involving the mission so it won't effect us." _Bullshit._

"You know you can tell me. I care about you Nicole. I want to help." He held on to knee and started to rub little circles.

Him saying that he cared and wanted to help reassured me. Gave me hope that this could be something more.

"When I'm ready I'll tell you. It takes me time to open up to people. Just like you." _Oo low blow_. His face became emotionless, but his eyes were pained. Like the first time I had met him.

"Fine." He kept that face and stared at his watched.

"Fine." I replied.

The awkwardness was un bearable. We stopped talking to each other and just stared and made an occasional cough. I kept playing with my hair and staring at my feet. James was pretended to be interested in his watch. He would twist it around is wrist or just stare at it.

"Okay. This has to stop." I finally got fed up with the awkwardness. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that before."

"It's alright. I'm sorry about the way I acted. I just _can't_ talk about it."

"Why?" I challenged him.

"I just can't right now. Okay?" His voice was clipped and his face was becoming stern again.

I rolled at my eyes. He would confess soon.

* * *

**A/N- So I haven't updated in awhile, and this sort of became a filler chapter towards the end. CAN YOU PLEASE REVIEW COME ONE PLEASE. I don't care if it is harsh criticism I know my stories kind of suck at some point or just get really confusing. But please (:**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N- This is a longer chapter **** but beware… This is a rarity. Haha. But yeah there could be tiny mistakes here and there. A bunch of commas because I love to use them. It could be a little comma crazy.**

**Disclaimer- Don't own James Bond**

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* * *

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**James POV**

Well that was an eventful flight… A lot to take in. I feel like I have to fess up. Tell her my story. I mean Nicole was kind of forced into telling hers, but I still feel like I should tell her mine.

We landed at Newark Airport after a long tedious flight. At least we were getting back to civilization and somewhat warmer weather. I mean if you call thirty-degree weather even remotely warm. It kind of sucked that we had to land at a commercial airport and not a private one because there was so many people, and people were the last thing I wanted to deal with.

"Come on, this way." Nicole hurried through the airport knowing exactly where she was going.

"Been here before?" I asked keeping up with her to get out.

"Yeah." She was focused on getting out of the place. It was jam-packed even at night. She definitely wasn't in the mood to deal with other people. Then tension and awkwardness on the flight was strong ever since she asked me what was bothering me. So it was understandable that she didn't want to deal with people let alone me.

"Come on, hurry up." Her voice became irritated and her strides became longer than her usual long strides.

"Okay, okay." I answered through my teeth. We finally made it outside to the parking garage where a car was waiting for us. Of course an Aston Martin. Gotta love Q.

I went to see if it was opened. I pulled the handle and it lit up. Figure print scanner. The door opened and I sat in the front seat. Nicole opened her door and joined me in the car.

"Do you know how to get to the Hotel?" Nicole asked.

"Um. No I don't." Didn't come to New York that often.

Nicole rolled her eyes and then proceeded to tell me how to get there. Traffic in New York was horrendous. I was about to shoot myself. And I could; I had gun in the glove department.

We finally arrived at the Waldorf after stop and go traffic. It was really nice. It fit our cover. A rich couple trying to rekindle their love by traveling all over the world. Similar to what me and Vesper were going to do, but our love never went out.

They brought us up to our room, a small luxurious suite with one bed, of course, and a bathroom.

I tipped the bellboy some money and opened up the closet. Our suitcases we already there and the more dressy attire was hanging up.

Nicole stepped over to the window and was watching the streets below. I took off my jacket and placed it over the desk chair.

"One bed again, do you want to share or do you want me to sleep on the couch?" I called out as started to look for anything that might jeopardize the mission.

"Sure." She replied softly still gazing out at the dark streets of New York. It was dark outside and the nightlife of the city was crowding the streets.

I finished checking for "bugs" in the room and went up from behind and snaked my arms around her.

"Hey" I slowly kissed down her neck until I got to the fabric of her shirt.

"Hi…" She sighed and grabbed my hands that were resting on her abdomen. I turned my palms upward to hold them.

"What's…" I kissed her neck gently, "wrong?"

"Just tired… Usually I would be wide awake with jet lag and everything, but I'm just really exhausted."

"Why don't you get ready for bed then." I let go of her hands and spun her around to kiss her on the lips. But before I could she got out of my grasp and in the closet to grab her pajamas, black yoga pants and a gray v-neck shirt. I watched her as she walked into the bathroom and didn't move my eyes off her until she shut the door.

I opened up my laptop and played a game of solitaire waiting for her to come out so I could wash up. I finally heard the water turn off, and went to knock on the door.

"Yeah?" I heard her call out from behind the door.

"Can I come in, I want to get ready for bed."

"Yeah sure." With that I opened the door.

I stepped in and there was a cloud of steam hanging over our heads. The warmth made me feel comfortable. That cold that I always had and wanted was slowly disappearing, and with this warmth I felt no cold or numbness in me at all.

I threw off my shirt and took off my pants so I was only in my boxer briefs. My usual night attire. I caught Nicole staring at my reflection in the mirror, but I didn't bring it up because I was doing the same thing.

I brushed my teeth, picked up my discarded clothes and went to leave. I was hoping to hear her say "wait" and then we would just have sex right here, or at least drop the cold shoulder either would be fine. But I knew that was not going to happen. So I walked over to my laptop and resumed my solitaire game. It was a little cold with only having my boxer briefs, but now I was in the mood for cold.

Nicole walked out five minutes clad in her yoga pants and v-neck shirt. I looked up from the computer and gave her a smile; she returned a weak one. What the hell was wrong with her? Or me?

I shut my computer and walked over to the bed. I helped her turn down the covers and we both crawled in. I pulled her closely to me and held her tight.

* * *

"What else can you surmise, Mr. Bond?" She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms.

"About you, Miss Lynd? Well, your beauty's a problem. You worry you won't be taken seriously."

"Which one can say of any attractive woman with half a brain." She slightly raised her eyebrow.

"True. But this one overcompensates by wearing slightly masculine clothing. Being more aggressive than her female colleagues. Which gives her a somewhat _prickly_ demeanor, and ironically enough, makes it less likely for her to be accepted and promoted by her male superiors, who mistake her insecurities for arrogance. Now, I'd have normally gone with 'only child,' but by the way you ignored the quip about your parents... I'm going to have to go with 'orphan.'" I knew I hit a soft spot, but she covered it up quickly.

"All right... by the cut of your suit, you went to Oxford or wherever. Naturally you think human beings dress like that. But you wear it with such disdain, my guess is you didn't come from money, and your school friends never let you forget it. Which means that you were at that school by the grace of someone else's charity: hence that chip on your shoulder. And since you're first thought about me ran to "orphan," that's what I'd say you are." She gave me a small but noticeable smirk.

I sat back and gave a small smirk like hers.

She leaned forward and had a look of triumph over her face "Oh, you are? I like this poker thing. And that makes perfect sense! Since MI6 looks for maladjusted young men, who give little thought to sacrificing others in order to protect queen and country. You know... former SAS types with easy smiles and expensive watches." She then glanced at my watch

"Rolex?" She asked in question

" Omega." I smiled.

"Beautiful. Now, having just met you, I wouldn't go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard..."

"No, of course not."

" But it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine. You think of women as disposable pleasures, rather than meaningful pursuits. So as charming as you are, Mr. Bond, I will be keeping my eye on our government's money - and off your perfectly-formed ass."

"You noticed?" I smiled at her again

"Even accountants have imagination. How was your lamb?"

"Skewered. One sympathizes."

"Good evening, Mr. Bond." With that she got up and left.

I stood up and watched her leave. "Good evening, Ms. Lynd."

* * *

I woke up, after the peaceful but disturbing dream. I rolled over and noticed that Nicole wasn't there. I looked up to the clock and it was ten am. And right next to the clock was a note.

_James,_

_Went out to get coffee. Be back soon. Hope you like black. I'll bring some packets of sugar just in case._

_-Nicole_

I placed the note down. I sat on the edge of the bed and placed my head in my hands. These dreams had been torturing me for a while. Just the little memories I had from when she was alive. At least this one wasn't that horrible. I felt that cold slithering through my body, and I wanted Nicole to have her arms wrapped around me like I had last night.

I don't know how long I sat there with my head in my hands, but I was taken out of my trance by the door opening. My head snapped up to see Nicole with two coffees in her hand. She was dressed in tight black jeans and a gray north face and a charcoal blue v-neck was visible underneath the jacket.

"Hey." She gave me a warm smile. She seemed in a better mood then yesterday. "I hope you like black." She handed me the Starbucks cup.

I gladly took it from her. "Love it." I gave her a quick wink.

She took a sip and sat next to me. "So when did you get up?"

I looked at the clock from the last time I checked it. "About seven minutes ago."

"Sleep well." She asked her eyes wide and caring.

"Yeah, kind of…" I thought about the dream with Vesper. "What about you?"

She took another sip from her coffee, "Alright, I woke up pretty early. I went down to the hotel gym around seven to work out and then I got us coffee." She held up her coffee when she mentioned going to get coffee.

"Why didn't you wake me up? I would have gone to the gym with you." It would have saved me from having another Vesper dream.

"You looked so peaceful and content. I just couldn't. You also needed it."

"Thanks." I decided to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to take a quick shower." I saw in my periphery that she had her hand up to her cheek where I kissed her and a small smile.

I closed the bathroom door and turned on the shower. I waited a minute for it to warm up and then I hopped in. I washed up and got out; dried off. Grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my hips. Once I got out Nicole's eyes lowered toward the edge of the towel. I gave her another wink and her face reddened a little. I didn't mean to embarrass her.

I walked into the closet and threw on some clothes.

After I came back into the room and saw Nicole playing with a strand of her hair. "So what do you want to do today? We have a couple days before Mulligan comes, so we have some time to just relax." I should have avoided his name.

She flinched a little at the name Mulligan. She shouldn't even be doing this mission since it was so personal. But who knows how it will turn out.

"Have you seen New York City before?" She asked.

"Not really…" I had only been here briefly a while ago. Before I became a double o.

"So basically no. Well I'll change that for you." A big grin spread across her face.

"Oh god. Should I be prepared?" I joked.

"Haha yes." She grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the door. "If you want to get everything done we will have to leave now."

"Oh god." I repeated.

* * *

We walked the streets of New York City. Nicole showed me everything. It was overwhelming.

"I'm so tired." I complained. I fell onto the bed and let out a big sigh.

"Yeah, I'm too." She fell next to me. I grabbed her and rolled her on top of me so she was facing me.

"Thanks for taking me out today."

"No problem." She grinned.

I gave her a small kiss on the lips, which turned into a longer kiss, and then a longer kiss. My hands traveled down her back and then up her shirt. I pulled her closer to me to deepen the kiss.

The phone went off right when I was about to take things a little farther. I looked at the caller ID and it was M. Another moment ruined by M. Thank you very much.

"Who is it?" Nicole asked, she was still lying on tops of me.

"Who do you think." I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes.

"M…" Nicole drifted off…

I went to pick up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello James!" It wasn't M it was Money Penny. This girl was sometimes very energetic.

"Hello Money Penny." I said in an irritated tone. "What do I owe the please of you calling." I tried to cover up the tone.

"I just wanted to make sure, M too, that you are in New York and that everything is alright."

I looked out of the corner of my eye and noticed Nicole left. "Yes, everything is fine. Thank you."

"Okay then! Bye bye." That girl was way too vivacious.

"Good bye Money Penny." I closed the phone and got up.

I noticed that Nicole was standing at the window looking down at the traffic.

"Hey. Why don't we finish what we were doing?" I kissed her neck gently. And again. And again.

"Later." She laughed. "I'm pretty hungry right now, what about you?"

"Yeah same, do you have a place in mind?" I wanted to continue what we were doing, but I was hungry too.

"It's called Peter Lugar. Hope you're not a vegetarian." Nicole gave me a smile and grabbed her purse. I followed her and closed the door behind me.

* * *

We arrived at Peter Lugar about a half hour later. It was a steak house in Brooklyn, and supposedly very expensive. Once we walked in they recognized Nicole and gave us a table. And the dinner was insane. Too much food, but it was great.

They had just taken our plates away and Nicole and I were finishing up our drinks. My drink that I called a Vesper. And hers vodka and a splash of club. It was her fourth and she was getting a little tipsy.

"That was great." I took a sip of my drink and watched her as she took one too.

"I no, I love this place, but it's too much food." She finished off her drink, and got up.

"Don't we have to pay?" I asked.

"I had the tab sent to my sister in the beginning. I'll pay her back next time I see her." We walked out and said goodbye. On the way out Nicole stumbled and almost fell if I hadn't caught her.

"You alright?" I steadied her back on her feet.

"Yeah, alcohol's just catching up on me. I shouldn't have downed that last drink." She gave a little giggle and took out her phone to call car service. She drank a lot of vodka tonight. It was just going to get worse since the alcohol wasn't fully in her system.

"Then lets get you back to the hotel as soon as possible." She ignored me since she was arranging our ride.

"They'll be here in about fifteen minutes. Lets go back in and have another drink." She didn't wait for me to answer. She grabbed my wrist and pulled me back inside.

She told the bartender our drinks and we got them shortly after. She finished the drink and ordered another one.

"Nicole. I don't think you should drink anymore." I warned her, but the new drink was already in her hand.

"Aww but James." She gave me a slight pout and her eyes became wide.

"Nicole. No." I took a sip of my drink and set it down.

"But you get to drink." She grabbed her drink and went for another sip.

I gently took her hand and moved the glass back onto the bar. "Because I can handle more alcohol then you."

She moved closer so she was up against my chest. She leaned in closer and whispered in my ear. "Please… James." Her tone was seductive which almost made me cave in.

"No." I looked out the window and saw the car was there. "Come on our ride is here." I tipped the bartender and helped Nicole walk to the car.

"James! I need to finish my drink!" She whined and leaned on me for support.

"They've got drinks back at the hotel." It was the easiest way to coax her back to the hotel without her making a scene.

"Okay. You promise." She looked up at me and stared into my eyes. I stared back into the glassy dark brown orbs.

"Promise." I helped her into the back of the car the Waldorf sent and quickly followed her.

The car ride back to the hotel was interesting. Nicole wanted to take off my clothes insisting that we had privacy, but the driver kept glancing in the mirror. Creep.

After a series of attempts to take off my pants we finally made it back to the hotel.

"Come one Nicole." I basically carried her back up into the room. I'm never letting her have that much alcohol again.

Once we got back to the room she dragged me to the bed and started to kiss me. I kissed her back not wanting to hurt her feelings by abruptly pushing away. She was drunk and I didn't want her to do anything she would regret. Yeah we've gone far, but not that far.

"Nicole." I broke the kiss and she looked up at me with her big doe eyes.

"Yes." She smiled.

"Lets go to bed." I stroked the back of her head.

"No. Lets have sex." Her hands reached down to my pants, again, and started to undo my pants.

"Nicole." I said sternly. "You're drunk. Lets get you into your pajamas. "Please."

"Fine." She whispered. "Could you get my clothes?" She looked upset, but she would understand in the morning.

"Sure thing." I smiled. She was probably going to pass out any second now. I got up and went to her suitcase. I grabbed a pair of yoga pants and a v-neck shirt for her and went back into the room. Of course she was fast asleep when I came back.

I helped her into her pajamas and placed her old clothes on the floor. I slipped out of my own clothes and hopped into bed with my usual night attire. I pulled her close to me and fell asleep. She was going to have one killer headache tomorrow.

* * *

I awoke in the middle of the night with another haunting dream about Vesper. This time it was when we were on the small hidden beach. The beach where I confessed my love for her. Little did I know that she would be taken away from me soon after.

I lifted my hand to my head and wiped the sweat off it. I pulled off the covers and walked over to the window. I became cold from the exposure of the air outside of the covers. I didn't mind it though. I stared out of the window and gazed at the nightlife below. It was three in the morning and it was still busy down there.

I leaned up against the cold glass for a while; I went back when I heard Nicole shift in bed.

The covers were welcoming, and I embraced the warmth. I pulled Nicole close to me and fell back asleep.

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**A/n- Action soon to happen (: **

**Please review I would love it. **


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